June 2015 – The Rousehouse

Summer Update

Posted on June 26, 2015June 26, 2015 by Spanky Rouse

Mac having a water fight on one of the last days of school

Summer is off to a good but busy start for the RouseHouse! And man is it hot here in the south! We wanted to pause for a few minutes and share some quick family and ministry updates with you as well as share some ways that you can continue to partner with us in prayer.

Mac, Grey, Elly, PawPaw, and their cousins, Jake and Cole. Everyone loves to sit with PawPaw!

The kiddos are doing great! Mac keeps saying, “it feels so weird to not go to school every day!”, while Greyson is loving a break from the regular routine of getting up and going to school. Sometimes the guys can be night and day different. For Elly I think she is loving this time of having “her boys” at home with her…for the most part they are enjoying her too. They have already spent much of their time at the pool (and yes they have a nice tan already), at Nana and PawPaw’s with their cousins, riding scooters, having water gun fights, playing with the dog, shopping (Elly talks us into this one) and staying up late. There is still so much for them to do this summer!

Scooter ridging is a new family favorite! Elly is a little more concerned with everything matching (all Pink) than most people.

Lara is just getting over the Shingles and starting to feel a little more normal. She was a real trooper! You can tell she really tried not to complain even though she was in horrible pain, scratch even though it felt like a large patch of mosquito bites, and lay around even though that is probably what she should have been doing. She is one tough momma! I wish we had a dollar for every time someone would say, “I thought only old people could get the Shingles.” For the record it isn’t just for old people. This has been a painful and very uncomfortable time for Lara and we are thankful for all of the prayers and support! Other than that she has been busy taking care of these 3 crazy guys. It really is a full-time job! My favorite quote from Lara this summer so far is when Mac ask if it is time to eat again and Lara says, “do I have to feed you everyday!?” For the record Mac thinks it is always time to eat. When he is done with one meal he is planning the next before he gets up from the table.

Move in day! A group of friends and family gathered to pray for us and our new home. It was a very special time!

We are loving our new home! It is an answer to prayer that we had been asking the Father for years to grant us! We regularly look at one another and say with a big smile, “this house is perfect for our family”. We have been able to meet most of the neighbors on our street and regularly take walks to pray for them. God has big plans for the RouseHouse here and we believe that we will see Him transform this community and families for His glory!

I have been busy with some cool things at work but have also had some opportunities to spend a little extra time with the family since school has been out. Summer time can be a little slower for mobilization at UWM (this is the team I serve on) which has been good for me with the move, kids being out of school, and Lara being sick. But I have had the privilege of being a part of some great missional things too. We are in conversations about taking on more of a role with Business as Mission (BAM) and I have been chosen to be on that team which I am very excited about. I have also been able to be a part of some expansion opportunities. Expansion is when we open a new country for UWM or a new type of work we currently are not involved in. I can’t be too specific because of security reasons but we are opening some new African countries, possibly Asian countries, and Middle East areas. Taking the Gospel to some dark places! My team will also be leading a new missionary orientation/training in July for families going all over the globe. Did I mention I am heading to Zimbabwe next week too! I am so excited!

We truly value the prayers of our ministry partners! If you could please spend a few minutes over the next month praying for some of these specifics and anything else the Father brings to your mind we would appreciate it!

Physical good health for our family
Safe travels for Spanky and for Lara and the kids as they head out on a couple of trips
God’s wisdom and favor with all of these new opportunities at UWM and around the world
Peace, the kind that only the Father can give!
And anything else He leads you to be praying for the RouseHouse will be good

For those of you who financially partner with us to see His kingdom come around the World and right here in Charlotte we want to say THANK YOU! Our hearts and lives are blessed daily because of you therefore we thank God for you often. We have begun setting sometime aside to pray a little extra for you on the first Monday of every month. If there is ever anything specific we can be praying for please let us know by emailing us at spanky.rouse@gmail.com.

If you are wondering what it means to be a ministry partner of the RouseHouse you can simply click here. We always need and are looking for new partners! Generally, it means that you are praying for us, financially supporting this work God has given us, and are encouragers to us. We would love to share more with you and have you join this team of family and friends!

7 Ways To Respond When You Want to Punch Someone—And You’re a Christian

Posted on June 4, 2015 by Spanky Rouse

Ok so, I wish I would have thought to write a post like this but unfortunately I didn’t and usually end up responding in the wrong ways. I would love for you to not make the same mistake as I so here is a great article that a friend sent me today. You will be glad you took 5 minutes to read this!

7 Healthy Ways to Resolve Tension and Conflict – by Carey Nieuwhof

I have learned (through trial and error), that these 7 strategies below can help me deal with conflict.

I hope they can help you.

They can work with coworkers, with a boss, with a volunteer, with a friend—with anyone you have a relationship with.

Here are 7 ways that I hope can help you resolve conflict with someone you work with:

1. Own your part of the problem

Conflict and even bad chemistry is almost never 100% one person’s fault.

One of the best expressions I’ve heard on how to figure out the extent to which you might be part of the problem is to ask a compelling question: What’s it like to be on the other side of me?

Jeff Henderson asked that question in a great series at North Point Church called Climate Change.

You can listen to the message for free here, and a scroll through the small group questions in and of itself is instructive. Own what you can.

So…what is it like to be on the other side of you? Ask some people.

Ask yourself, “What’s it like to be on the other side of me?” @jeffhenderson

CLICK TO TWEET

2. Go direct

Issues in the church are often mishandled because we talk about someone rather than to someone.

Your co-worker at the water cooler isn’t the problem, so why talk to him about it?

Jesus was crystal clear on how to handle conflict, but very few Christians follow his practice.

In the name of being ‘nice’ (I can’t tell her that!), we become ineffective.

Talk to the person you have the problem with. Directly. Or else just be quiet about it.

In the name of being nice, Christians become ineffective.

CLICK TO TWEET

3. Give them the benefit of the doubt

The person you’re upset with might not realize how they are coming across. It’s okay to say that out loud.

“Rachel, you might not realize this, but sometimes you emails can come across as demanding or even demeaning. I’m not sure you’re aware of that, but I just wanted to let you know how they leave me feeling sometimes.”

That gives the person an out, and frankly, many times, they probably had no idea they were coming across negatively.

Giving a person an out and the benefit of the doubt preserves their dignity.

4. Explain. Don’t blame

How to talk to the person you’re struggling with is where many people struggle.

And those conversations often go sideways because people begin with blame.

Don’t blame. Explain.

Instead of saying “You always” or “You never” (which might be how you feel like starting), begin by talking about how you experience them.

If you’re dealing with an ‘angry person’ for example, you might frame it this way “Jake, I just want you to know that when you get upset in a meeting, it makes me feel like the discussion is over and I can’t make a contribution.”

If you’re you’re dealing with gossip, try something like: “Ryan, on Tuesday when you told me what happened to Greg on the weekend, I felt like that was something Greg should have told me directly.”

Do you hear the difference between explaining and blaming?

5. Be specific

Giving one or two specific incidents is much better making general accusations or commenting on personality traits. “The other day in the meeting” or “In your email on the the August numbers yesterday” is much more helpful then “You just always seem so frustrated.”

The more specific you are, the more you de-escalate conflict and move toward a hopeful ending.

6. Tell them you want things to get better

What the person you’re confronting needs is hope.

At this point, they probably feel defensive, ashamed and (hopefully) sorry.

Let them know the gifts they bring to the table and the good they do.

7. Pray for them

I know this sounds trite, but it’s not. Don’t pray about them. Pray for them.

It is almost impossible to stay angry with someone you pray for.

It can also give you empathy for them, and at least in your mind’s eye, it places you both firmly at the foot of the cross in need of forgiveness.

It will take any smirk of superiority out of your attitude, which goes a long way toward solving problems.

She is a masterpiece!

Posted on June 3, 2015June 3, 2015 by Spanky Rouse

I think that every little girl wants to dance and be a ballerina when they are younger, maybe forever. At least in my experience with Elly and her friends this is the case. I am also pretty sure that many girls grow up with a deep need, longing to know they are beautiful, special, and loved. These two things are what led Ellyana to Masterpiece Dance Studio or what led Lara to taking her to Masterpiece.

Masterpiece is no ordinary dance studio for young girls. It may seem like it until you listen to Mrs. Jackie and her teachers. They are well-trained professional dance teachers but they have an even bigger objective while instructing these young girls. They want them to know the TRUTH and know what in life really matters. It’s not how well you did your performance, it’s not how perfect their pirouette(look it up, I had too) is, it’s not how well they know their positions, and it’s not how they look in their outfits…or as Elly calls them, her costumes. It is so much more than that for these ladies. For them it is all about these girls growing up to believe this one truth that can change every facet of their life. They are a masterpiece made by their Heavenly Father and He cherishes each one of them just the way they are! That is what dance class is about at Masterpiece.

Some days I think to myself that maybe Ellyana could practice a little more and maybe she could try to do those positions and moves a little better but then I remember what she is really learning while she is simply having fun at dance. She is learning about one of the greatest principles that I could possibly imagine my little princess knowing. She is learning that God made her and God takes pride in who she is, what she looks like, and the gifts he has given her. She is gaining that foundation that she is a masterpiece!

1 Peter 3:3-4

3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes…(or how well you dance…Spanky’s version) 4 Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty, gentleness, and a quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.

Our table

Posted on June 3, 2015June 15, 2015 by Spanky Rouse

Have you ever had someone do something so awesome that it makes you want to tell people about it? Well, fortunately I have, many times. God has blessed the RouseHouse so much and He often does it through the amazing people He has put in our life.

“Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art… It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival.” – C.S. Lewis

When we began talking about moving Lara and I thought about how we want this to be a place of community. Therefore, we wanted a really big table that could fit a bunch of people and a ton of children. Well, those kinds of tables are not cheap! We know a friend that had just built a large farm table and it looked really good, so I asked him if he would be interested in helping me build one for our new house. Before any of you say something I did fully disclose that I have 0% skills in craftsmanship! My friend quickly said, “would you just want me to build it and you can paint and stain it?” to which I respond with a “OH YES!” I think he knew that it would probably be more work to have me actually help. He got started and it quickly came together.

Lara and I sat and looked at the table the other night when I finished staining it. We talked about the many years that we will be using this beautiful piece. Our hope is that God will use this piece of furniture in hundreds of people’s lives and our dream is that one day it will sit in one of our children’s house and will be a place of community and long conversations for them too.

What a friend and servant! Who builds a table like this for someone else house without charging them??? The RouseHouse is so thankful and blessed!

PS, the top was made out of reclaimed wood from a construction demo project at Piney Grove School which makes it even more special! We not only have a table that will have a bunch of people around it in the years to come but a piece that will always remind us of how God has used us in this community for many years. How cool is that!